DPQ chapter 1 part 1

Death Princess Quest-
First episode
"Congratulations! You are our 7777^th player! Thus
meaning you will get a super-quest! Your mission is to find the Banana Witch in
the Ice-cream cave and get her to give you a giant spoon so that you can slay
the giant cheesecake monster." The prince read the text on the post-it again
and pushed his glasses up on his nose. The calm, reasonable prince August just
couldn't understand this. Banana Witch? Ice-cream cave? Giant spoon? Giant
cheesecake monster? This was so unreasonable and scientifically impossible!
August was always insisting on everything being perfectly rational. His castle
was symmetrical, he never wore un-matching colors and his perfectly cut light
brown hair was always ideal. August read the message again. Then, he carefully
folded the post-it in 4 and put it in his pocket. The prince unfolded a map and
started searching for the Ice-cream cave. Absolutely illogically, he discovered
he had to go south in order to reach the Pink Mountains where the cave was. But
first, he had to cross a bit of this forest. And the 7777th prince
started towards south, accepting the challenge, while Caramell was watching him
do so. Indeed, there was a secret camera-spider that followed the prince and
transmitted the video directly to a giant HD screen in Caramell's room.
***
Imagine the surprise of prince August when a giant talking
flying purple cactus appeared before him. "FEAR MY WRATH!!!" the plant cried.
The prince didn't wince. But he DID take out an encyclopedia and, after
searching for a few seconds, tell the cactus that it wasn't supposed to talk,
fly and be purple. The cactus, angry, jumped on the prince's head. August
whacked him with his encyclopedia. After insulting and beating up each other
for an hour, they both got tired. August took out a comb and arranged his
slightly messed up hair. Then, he got up from the grass and walked off. But the
cactus followed him. "Why are you following me?" the prince asked. "Because I
feel like it," the cactus answered. And he joined the prince's quest. After a
few minutes, they came upon a giant baobab. "Climb the baobab," the cactus
suggested. When the prince asked why, the cactus answered it was for fun. But
logical-thinking prince August didn't want to have fun. So he didn't climb the
baobab. Soon enough after that short adventure, August and his cactus reached
the end of the forest. They could now see the mountains. Their ends seemed to
disappear in the fluffy clouds above and some rare trees grew on their rocky
sides. The sight was truly beautiful. But that didn't matter for August,
because the Pink Mountains weren't pink. They were blue.
***
"NOOOOO!" the prince cried. They were lost! Besides, there
was no such thing as the Blue Mountains. The only mountains on the map were the
pink ones. "What's wrong?" the cactus asked. "What's wrong?!? These mountains
are blue, not pink!" "No, those are the Pink Mountains." "But..." "They're only
called Pink, but they're blue." "Why?" The cactus walked off without an
explanation and August followed him. After a few minutes, they reached the
Ice-cream cave. Fortunately for prince August's mental health, the name of this
place was more logical than the previous one. The cave was made of ice-cream.
Only, it wasn't a cave. It was a labyrinth. The prince and the cactus made a
first step into the labyrinth and nearly fell down, stepping on an eggplant.
The prince shook his head: all of this was driving him crazy. This is
un-scientifical! An eggplant can't grow in an ice-cream labyrinth! The prince
and the cactus continued walking. After a few minutes, they arrived to a dead
end. But when August turned around to go back, he faced a hideous monster and
gasped in horror. Indeed, that old ghoul of a woman looked hideous. She was not
higher than August's knee and she looked like she was at least 300 years old.
On top of that, her clothes were banana-yellow and she was wearing a
banana-shaped hat. "Who are you?" she asked. August told her about the
super-quest and all the stuff. He also said that the Banana Witch -because it
was no one else but her- had to give him a giant spoon. But instead, she gave
him a hat with fake cat ears. She told the prince that the hat would turn into
a Giant Fork as soon as the prince would say "I'm a nice little kitty and I
like Jell-O". He had to go find the witch's sister, the Apple Fairy, and trade
the Fork for a Spoon. When the prince asked the ghoul why he couldn't just kill
the monster with a fork (which is more logical than trying to kill it with a
spoon), the witch called him a culture-less freak, told him that eating
cheesecake with a fork is heretic and chased August and his purple flying
talking cactus out of the cave. Then she disappeared. August took out his comb
and brushed his hair. Then he took out the map and searched for the Singing
River, the place where the Apple Fairy lived. Unfortunately for poor prince
August, his evil cactus doodled all over the map August was brushing his hair.
Unfortunately for the evil cactus, well organized prince August had a second
map. But how could this be? Contrarily to the other map, this one showed that
the prince and the plant weren't in the mountains, but in the river. August
closed his eyes to calm down and opened them... Feeling water at his feet.
***
The mountain transformed into a river. The mountain
transformed into a river. The mountain transformed into a... But that's
illogical! It doesn't make any sense! Although this entire Death Princess Quest
thing made no sense to August. But still, the mountain transforming into a
river that immediately started singing a welcome song was a great shock for the
poor prince. Even now, as the Apple Fairy was treating him and the cactus to
tea and cupcakes while the river sang a fifth song, the prince was too
astonished to say a word. He just looked at the fairy and kept repeating that
the mountain transformed into a river. The fairy wore a simple but cute dress
made of leaves and had an apple-shaped hat. She was also much younger than her
old ghoul of a sister. She kept blabbering about weather and the sun and stuff
like that. Finally, she asked: "So? Why are you here? Did you come to taste my
apple pie?" The prince politely refused and told her about death Princess
Quest, the Giant Fork and the Giant Spoon. "Don't you want some apple jelly
instead?.." the fairy asked with a smile. The prince refused politely. He then
had to politely refuse apple candy, apple juice, apple tea, apple sandwiches,
apple cupcakes, apple hamburgers, apple maple syrup, apple soup, apples, baked
apples and other apple junk. The fairy sighed and told him to give her the
Giant Fork. "I'm a nice little kitty and I like Jell-O," the prince said to
make his hat transform into a fork. "What?" the fairy asked, puzzled. Then they
traded utensils and the fairy wished good luck to the prince and his purple
flying cactus. "But before you go…" she added. "You said you like Jell-O. So
will you at least accept this?" And so the prince had to eat a cup of apple
Jell-O, because he clearly saw that the fairy was almost crying, desperately
wanting him to eat some apple product. He then waved her goodbye and, cactus in
one hand and Giant Spoon in the other, he walked off towards North, the
direction the fairy told him to follow to find the Giant Cheesecake Monster.
When he turned back to her, the fairy smirked. What a nice cat tail the prince
now had thanks to her! Indeed, it was magical Jell-O that he ate, not regular
Jell-O. But August didn't know that and innocently continued walking towards
North... And either victory or defeat. Caramell didn't have any doubts about the
outcome of this Quest.